Checklist Of Shame E to F

.....These posts began on September 28th and each has had a rambling essay at the top (yesterday's being the most focused and coherent) explaining why I'm listing all these musicians. The Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame has recently announced its nominees for next year's induction ceremony (probably in April). Every year when this happens you and I and everyone we know are subjected to a thousand cuts from the sandstorm of complaints from rock fans justly outraged by the absence of bands unjustly omitted. While the selection process is secret and the committee answers to no one, it appears that the museum has begun to fear for its own relevance in recent years as we finally see Lauro Nyro and Freddie King (long beloved by other performers) along with Small Faces and Donovan (long beloved by the public that buys all the damn records in the first place) finally being noticed by the Sun King wannabees behind the curtain. Chief among them is Jann Wenner, who for decades was the head honcho at Rolling Stone Magazine and has spent much of his career channelling the Baron from "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang", feeling justified in imprisoning all of the children so that he can play with their toys himself.

.....If there is to be any purpose in having a Rock And Roll Museum with a Hall Of Fame in an age when information on any recording ever made can fly across the planet at a moment's notice, then its mission can not be to contain less knowledge than the crowd waiting outside. Having a baby boomer curate a Rock And Roll Museum is like having a Creationist lecture Johns Hopkins medical students on biology. It's hard to explain to him why he's not being taken seriously when he perceives all of his weaknesses as strengths. While rummaging through an old inventory of my own CD's, I went to the Hall's website to see which artists have or haven't been inducted. You can check them by year (clumsy for my purposes) or alphabetically (better in this case). In an earlier essay when I digressed into non-performers omitted I was going to include songwriters Jerry Leiber and Mike Stoller since they weren't in the alphabetical listings. I removed them during the editing process when I noticed they were listed under the second year, 1987. So what happened? They're listed under 'J' for 'Jerry'. Everyone else (as far as I know) is listed the same way libraries, book stores and music stores alphabetize, by last name. And they've been in the museum before the website existed. I have no idea how long they've been listed this way or what the rationale behind that is. I should mention that 'The Jimi Hendrix Experience' is also listed under 'J' and not 'H', presumably because they were inducted as a group. Are we to assume then that Leiber and Stoller are considered a group and that their names are a single stage name? Who thinks like that? After all, the lists of names on the website are just lists of links to the inductees' biographies. They could have put their name/link under both 'L' and 'S' and they wouldn't have had to accommodate a second biography. They'd just link to the same one. In any event, I'm trying to be very careful when comparing my own lists to theirs because I can't take for granted that an artist will be listed where I assume they would. If I can't find an artist anywhere in there, I list them here:

1. EMERSON, LAKE & PALMER- Surely, I thought, surely this band, nearly synonymous with the self-important seventies, with the very idea of rock being worthy of a museum, would have gotten in the first year that they were eligible. Nope. Neither is The Nice, Emerson's previous effort to fuse rock and classical music. You also won't find the constituent members. So I guess every hockey rink that's played "Nutrocker" on the sound system and every television station running the syndicated "Thriller" (repackaged Universal Studios monster movies) with "Toccata" as its theme just weren't part of the American cultural experience. Nor were the millions of Americans who bought their albums. The Young Rascals are in there, though, so that's good. Good for them.
2. BRIAN ENO- The art ensemble Bang On A Can raised some eyebrows when they covered the entire Eno album "MUSIC FOR AIRPORTS", because its notably entirely atmospheric. There are no songs on it. In fact, its tracks aren't even named, they're numbered. But unlike his occasional collaborator, David Bowie, Brian Eno is not a champion of the obscure. He doesn't seek out existing outsider music in the hopes of redeeming it in the marketplace. He makes stuff that never existed before. Some maverick pioneers break the rules; Eno ignores them and tries to work as unhampered by preconception as practically possible. He seems more interested in learning what happens than making things happen. Usually recording as a solo artist or in duos he has released dozens of albums over nearly forty years and has recently returned to lyrical work in the last few years. In addition to his own work he has hundreds of production and session credits on dozens of recordings by other artists, including numerous existing inductees: Bowie, Talking Heads, U2 and Genesis. This is one of those puzzling cases where they can't credibly claim to be unaware of him. Even though he is arguably not as famous as some of the people he's worked with, he has co-written some of their hit singles and if you work in the music industry long enough and deeply enough to have even heard the name 'Art Rupe' then you must know who Brian Eno is.
3. DAVID ESSEX- A tougher sell than Brian Eno. Essex was actually an actor who happened to be a better than average singer. He was a ubiquitous major label pop star in England and is remembered in the U.S. for the hit single "ROCK ON" and the lead in the rarely screened movie "Stardust" in which he plays an archetype rock musician in a band called The Stray Cats with Keith Moon playing one of his bandmates.
4. MARIANNE FAITHFULL- When her career started in the 1960's she was effectively a footnote in a Rolling Stones anecdote but by the seventies she was much, much more. When she appeared as God in an aging hipster's hallucination in an episode of "Absolutely Fabulous", it cemented what so many of us had long assumed. She's not God, of course, but she's a significant part of the rock universe.
5. THE FALL- Does anybody else in the room get the feeling that being English disqualifies an artist from consideration? Of course the Beatles, Stones and Kinks got in, but this is the fifth British artist in a row I've listed and aside from Essex they all show up routinely on critics' lists. The Fall and Eno especially maintain enormous back catalogs. At any given time there are at least twenty titles in print apiece, so even if they're not chart toppers they must be selling those to somebody.
6. THE FEELIES- Finally, some Americans to defend. There's a reason that Weezer slavishly copied the cover photo and solid-color background design scheme of the Feelies' debut album CRAZY RHYTHMS. Or at least there's a reason everybody and their brother assumed they did. That debut became something that overshadowed everything else they did (three more albums in ten years and then an out-of-the-blue reunion earlier this year. It was a college radio staple at a time when increasingly rigid formats at commercial radio was stifling new sounds.
7. BRYAN FERRY- Overlooking Ferry's solo work is not as criminal as ignoring Roxy Music, since nearly all of its members have had solo careers. Paradoxically, it was his first two albums featuring all-covers that turned (and still turn) the most heads. They were recorded while Roxy was up and running with Ferry as their principal songwriter and his later solo albums with original songs were recorded when the band would have a hiatus. They showed the difference between simply remaking a song and stylistic reinterpretation (like the difference between the Beatles' cover of "PLEASE MR. POSTMAN" and their total reworking of "MY BONNIE"). His style today is markedly different but still distinct and instantly recognizable as his own. His recent album OLYMPIA is highly recommended.
8. FLAMIN' GROOVIES- I often wonder if the Flamin' Groovies entire fanbase is made up of people who went to see them because they couldn't get a ticket to The Rolling Stones and then never went back to see the Rolling Stones ever again.
9. FLYING BURRITO BROTHERS- Like ELP, the absence of this group is extremely puzzling. Even after Parsons left early on they've managed to stay continually booked to play live for forty years with a changing roster. That's a difficult feat without any celebrity appeal. And the earliest recordings with Parsons and Hillman have been in print in one form or another since they were first transferred to CD in the late 1980's. The Byrds and Eagles both were inducted within two years of eligibility. It's been about 17 years now for the Burritos.
10. JOHN FOGERTY- His band Creedence Clearwater Revival have been in since they were eligible. So much of that band was Fogerty that one could be forgiven for assuming that his solo career was just an extension of it. (He was rumored to have gone back into the studio after the others left and rerecorded over their often sloppy parts so that all of the instruments on the studio albums were actually being played by him once the records came out, although the others played the same songs in countless live shows with no problem.) Still, when Status Quo opened Live Aid they did it playing "ROCKING ALL OVER THE WORLD".
11. ROBERT FRIPP- Between the second and third phases of King Crimson, Fripp began releasing solo albums with EXPOSURE in 1979. He also recorded experimental collaborations with Brian Eno in 1972 but it would be a stretch to consider them rock (or even songs, although they do have evocative titles). He was also recording with Peter Gabriel, Talking Heads and David Bowie before eventually bringing together a new King Crimson but still periodically does solo side projects.

.....For reasons of longevity I've left off Eater, Embrace (the Ian Mackaye project), Fear, and Flipper. I also left off Firesign Theater because I didn't think that their incidental music and parodies could be considered widely influential. I also left out Fugazi because I don't think they make the cut-off date. If you know of any worthwhile ignored acts beginning with 'E' or 'F', leave them in the comments section.

Checklist Of Shame D

.....Three posts in as many days. I wish I could get this angry about the things I love. It's a great motivator. If you're tuning in late, I've been rustled out of my lethargy by a recent article announcing the nominees for the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame. Over the last twenty-five years, the lists of those who eventually get inducted (not all nominees do) have taken some bizarre turns. To be inducted, an artist must have released a commercially circulated recording at least 25 years prior to nomination. Non-performers such as producers and writers can be nominated in a separate category, but must have been active in the same time frame. Now, for the first five years, the choices were fairly unassailable. Nobody's going to say that Elvis Presley and Chuck Berry don't belong in a Hall Of Fame devoted to rock. The Beatles had to wait until 1987 to get nominated for induction in 1988 (apparently the German singles don't count). Then in the 1990's, things started going off the rails. The problem wasn't so much that the newer inductees hadn't earned recognition as that other more obvious choices were being ignored. Long running and pervasively influential rock bands like the MC5 (still not in) and the Stooges (eligible 1994; inducted 2010) were being passed over for self-indulgent egomaniacs like Jefferson Airplane. It was becoming apparent that 20 million teenagers wearing your name on their chest decades after you've split up (or died) doesn't qualify as 'influence', but a California mailing address does.

.....In an earlier post I mentioned that there was a concerted effort to remove rock from most radio stations in this country from 1958 to 1962, primarily motivated by racial bigotry. It didn't work everywhere, but it shut down enough venues that black musicians avoided working in the genre and when rock did manage to inevitably resurface it was only because white musicians were playing it. As the years of eligibility reached that period, the number of black artists among the likely new candidates dwindled. That's hardly the fault of the Hall Of Fame, but it does create the false impression that they might be avoiding black artists out of personal prejudice. Their options seemed to be: (a) dig deeper into the past, a well that would eventually run dry; or (b) incorporate other genres, most obviously the blues and R&B artists frequently covered by nominal rock musicians. This shouldn't have been a problem. If Led Zeppelin's been stealing your music, you must have influenced rock, period. And when the years of eligibility reached the late 1960's, there would be black artists among the new candidates again. The point where the logic went out the window was when it came to the British acts who recorded the lion's share of the covers. Now, Motown doesn't exactly need free advertising. While we here in the U.S. were experiencing the 'British Invasion', London was having its own 'Tamla Invasion'. And back here, it wasn't the Beach Boys who gave the Beatles the most competition for number one records, it was the Supremes. However, blues artists were another story. Like jazz artists in the 1950's migrating to Europe, American blues artists in the 1960's found a much warmer welcome in England than they did at home. Ironically, during what Martin Mull called "the Great Folk Music Scare", the people who were the living vessels of American roots music were persona non grata in the U.S. Even other black Americans often regarded them as a throwback to darker times before the Civil Rights era rather than what they were, instruments of survival and perseverance in those times. Anyway, white American rock musicians might cover Bo Diddley or Chuck Berry, but not Howling Wolf or Muddy Waters. But British rockers would cover whatever American music had a beat. And they were dying to see the real thing. So, while various bluesmen are justly inducted into the Hall Of Fame because they influenced rock musicians, you could logically expect to also find the musicians who took that sound and ran with it, no? No. The Small Faces, a chart-topping powerhouse in England, became eligible for nomination in 1989. They are just being nominated now. And they are the tip of the iceberg.

.....From that point in the early 1990's on, every single stated criteria, except age, seemed to be contradicted during the selection process. For every act inducted there was an act passed over who had greater longevity, more pervasive influence on subsequent performers, more pervasive cultural presence, etc. And the longer the Hall tried to pretend that they hadn't made mistakes the more egregious they appeared. They couldn't even claim that there were more candidates than slots available in any given year because there was no fixed number of slots, with the final number of inductees yo-yoing up and down every year. I don't think anyone is losing sleep if their favorite band isn't nominated in their first year of eligibility, but increasingly I am hearing from people who couldn't care less if their favorite band is EVER nominated because the award has come to be meaningless. And that would be a shame, a lost opportunity for there to be a resource that could be trusted to preserve this slice of culture for posterity.

.....Recent years seem to be working to spackle over the sins of the past and to nudge them towards that end I am posting an alphabetical listing of likely candidates from an inventory of CD's I owned in the mid-1990's. Even from the narrow scope in which I'm working there's a wealth of ignored talent. We'll continue the list at 'D':

1. THE DAMNED- So many reasons to induct them: the first UK punk single, UK punk album, UK punk TV appearance and on and on. And they're Damned good.
2. SPENCER DAVIS GROUP- Another prime example of a British R&B band, even if it hadn't launch the careers of Steve and Muff Winwood.
3. THE dB's [or dß's]- As the first album says, it "stands for decibels". Peter Holsapple isn't quite the Kevin Bacon of rock (that's Mick Ronson), but he comes close. This early endeavor of his might be discounted on grounds of longevity, but certainly not influence.
4. DEAD BOYS- You would hope that the Ohio connection would help, but as this list will eventually reveal the Hall doesn't appear to like the neighbors. For the uninitiated, The Dead Boys was kind of like the reverse of a punk super group. Everyone became more famous after they left.
5. DEAD KENNEDYS- Yeah, I know Biafra won't go to the ceremony. I want to see them inducted not only because they deserve it more than half the people in there now, but because the possibility that Biafra might show would give Jann Wenner ulcers.
6. DEAD MILKMEN- Perhaps it would be to much to ask for the committee to exhibit a sense of humor, but punk and life in general would have been much darker if not for the Dead Milkmen.
7. DELANEY BRAMLETT AND BONNIE BRAMLETT- Together or separately they have been headlining performers, or possibly in the sidemen category.
8. DEL FUEGOS- They imploded after four albums (that I know of), but as I mentioned in an earlier post, Warren Zanes is now Dr. Zanes and was working for the Hall Of Fame until a few years ago. If he can do anything to keep them filling in some of the more obvious holes, then including his old band might be a fitting reward. Former bandmate and older brother Dan is now a children's entertainer (and probably happier for it) and drummer Woody Geissmann is doing excellent and needed work with Right Turn.
9. SANDY DENNY- Not the most 'rock and roll' of deaths-- tripped on the stairs; difficult for the scandal-sheet mongers to mythologize-- but she left an unassailable body of work that's been the basis for at least two boxed sets.
10. DEREK AND THE DOMINOES- Both Eric Clapton and the Allman Brothers are in the Hall now. If Delaney and Bonnie And Friends (see above) should get in, this one year project would become redundant. They left only a 2LP studio album (since expanded to a 3CD box) and a 2LP live album.
11. RICK DERRINGER- Formerly with Edgar Winter, he became famous for "Rock And Roll Hootchie Coo" and released several more albums on the strength of that. The way the Hall works, however, his work with Weird Al Yankovic will probably get recognition before his solo career does. (Side note: Edgar Winter isn't in the Hall, either.)
12. DEVO- I mentioned something above about bands from Ohio being ignored. This is a much more glaring example than the Dead Boys and one for which "Checklist Of Shame" is more accurate. Contrary to popular belief, Devo will occasionally be inactive for a year or two, but they never really split up. The body of work they've produced is actually monumental. After reading this I suggest going to the Internet Movie Database (imdb) and entering the name "Mark Mothersbaugh" and hope that your computer has enough processing power. There aren't too many bands who've been covered by Robert Palmer, Nirvana, Rage Against The Machine, Lene Lovich, Soundgarden and They Might Be Giants. Oh, and Rachel Sweet. I don't think a year's gone by since their major label debut that they didn't appear on a soundtrack of some kind. Japan can't seem to get enough of them, even after they got old and fat. And what was it The Grand Wazoo said? "Fuck you if you don't like my little hat."
13. D.O.A.- Bloodied but unbowed, they were the preeminent punk band of Canada and your life would be vastly improved by adding them to it.
14. IAN DURY- I'd like to see Robert Wyatt show up at the Hall Of Fame with pictures of Ian Dury and Teddy Pendergrass and a large sign saying "I'd like to discuss handicap access with you." That would indeed be a reason to be cheerful.

.....I had to double check just now to make make sure they inducted Bob Dylan. They did. Whew; if I had to explain why that was necessary I think my head would explode. Well, there must be something missing from this list. I left off the Descendents, Dramarama and Dumptruck, but I'm wondering about that now. If you care passionately about musicians beginning with 'D', leave their name and rationale in the comments.

Checklist Of Shame C

.....The nominees for the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame, Class of 2012, were recently announced. Every year when these announcements are made there is widespread grumbling about the choices, much of it justified. Occasionally some of the dimmer butane lighters in the rock fandom chandelier kvetch about nominees in the non-performer category. If you don't understand why the Ertegun brothers are considered to have more of an influence on rock music than Rush, well, you're just going to have to trust the rest of us on that one. They did. Yeah, Rush is overdue and should have at least been mentioned before now, but have you noticed that the Moody Blues aren't in there? Or Gerry and the Pacemakers? There's overdue and then there's overdue.

.....This year doesn't seem to have any non-performers among the fifteen nominees. I'm wondering if Dr. Warren Zanes has had any part in steering the process towards righting past wrongs. He would have an uphill battle trying to explain to the balding, putrefying pot casualties in charge that if they really believe that Brian Eno (who produced "Remain In Light", "Joshua Tree" and others, in addition to recording dozens of albums himself and in collaborations) is just too unfamiliar to the public, then maybe this might not be the year to nominate whoever was the receptionist at Capitol Records in 1968. But I wouldn't want to see the non-performer category disappear completely. John Hammond certainly deserves his spot. Yet Shel Talmy is inexplicably missing, as are lesser names like Lou Adler (prolific producer and founder of the ODE label), Bert Berns, Don Zientara (engineer for nearly every Dischord record during it's first decade), Chinn and Chapman or Mickie Most. I mean, they didn't need someone to put a gun to their head to induct Phil Spector. Not that we know of, anyway. But if the non-performers are going to be put on the back burner in order to play catch-up with neglected performers, they seem to have chosen a method of making it less-than-obvious. Here's what they've done: if you count backwards from this year's cut-off for induction (1986), the previous decade is represented by six acts, the decade before that by five acts and the decade before that four acts. I'm sorry, but that's way too intelligent, orderly and rational for the people who've been running this flea circus for 25 years. Someone had to have shown them how to do it, probably using laminated cards (you know, because of the drooling). Maybe it was Zanes, maybe there's a particularly savvy nurse on staff there, all I know is that something's changed for the better.

.....If you haven't read yesterday's post, please do so. It explains (at length) what I'm doing here and why. I dug up an old list of CD's I own and flipped through it to see who might now be eligible for induction. The sheer volume of acts who've been passed over to make room for talent scout Ralph Bass, bluegrass king Bill Monroe and jazz legends like Billie Holiday and others who arguably have little to no involvement in rock music, even as influences, is staggering. I decided to just throw up my hands and list them. It's important to point out that this list isn't anywhere near complete; this is just a fraction of what I happened to own fifteen years ago. I'm not even including every musical act who's old enough, just the ones who'd make viable candidates. Yesterday I posted artists beginning with A or B. Today I pick up again with C.

1. JOHN CALE- Already represented as a member of the Velvet Underground, Cale has been producing, recording, scoring soundtracks and performing continuously since he left in 1969. Many of the acts he produced, such as the Stooges and Patti Smith, were also belatedly acknowledged lately so it's not impossible that his solo career (which is roughly twenty times the volume of his recordings with the Velvets) might get noticed some day.
2. CAMPER VAN BEETHOVEN- Masters of fusing rock with other styles, they've only been eligible for a few years.
3. CAPTAIN BEEFHEART- Well, he's dead now. Are you happy, Jann? Is that what you wanted? Was that selection just too painfully obvious for you?
4. JIM CARROLL- Better known as a poet and essayist, Carroll rerecorded his song "Catholic Boy" with Pearl Jam for the soundtrack of the movie "Basketball Diaries", based on the fictionalized memoir of his teen years. Also no longer with us. I feel fortunate to have seen him live in a spoken word appearance.
5. NICK CAVE- His solo career has only recently been eligible and it's unlikely that the nominating committee will acknowledge the original Australian releases of his bands Boys Next Door and Birthday Party.
6. CHER- Not at the top of my list either, but she certainly influenced more drag performers than Jefferson Airplane and the Grateful Dead combined. And they never had their own TV show. Downside: single handedly responsible for all that Autotune garbage.
7. GENE CLARK- Represented as a member of the Byrds, Clark has two solo albums being reissued soon if not now. In terms of visibility, he suffers from the fact that his catalogue, though not massive, has never been entirely in print at any one time. There is an excellent German 2-CD compilation covering much of his solo work but there needs to be a coordinated reissue program. Also no longer with us.
8. JULIAN COPE- Raised in Liverpool but so closely associated with LSD that one could be forgiven for assuming that he came out of Manchester. Many of the bands he inspired certainly did.
9. THE CRAMPS- I've gone into this band in depth on Livejournal and a post here that still gets page views. I've promised an expanded compilation playlist months ago and I haven't forgotten about it. Consider it a Halloween present. But I couldn't pass up an opportunity to mention here that on their last original album, FIENDS OF DOPE ISLAND, The Cramps had a song specifically about getting ignored by the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame. That means that between the time they wrote the song, arranged it, recorded it, mixed it, manufactured the CD, packaged it, distributed it and showed up at venues across the country and the world ready to perform it to audiences who were anticipating it because they had already heard the album, the band could still be assured that the Hall could be predictably relied on to not induct them, thus insuring the continued relevance of the song.
10. CRASS- For all the scapegoating of punk groups in Murdoch publications during the seventies in England, for all the tsk-tsking by the professionally indignant over torn T-shirts and pogo dancing, Crass were the only band (actually an art collective, of which music was only an element) to actually be denounced by name on the floor of Parliament as a potential threat to the well-being of the realm. In fact, there could potentially be legal hurdles to getting them into the country to appear at an induction ceremony. A legal team would need to review Reagan-Bush era policies that might still be on the books which could prohibit them from entering the U.S.. If Legendary Pink Dots and Echo And The Bunnymen can be considered threats to national security, Crass would probably be offended if they weren't.

.....Once again, if you'd like to add any act beginning with the letter C, assuming they released a recording as early as 1986, just put them in the comments area. I check it daily.

Checklist Of Shame A to B

.....Browsing through npr.org (a great source for music; they've posted entire albums prior to their release), I noticed their article on the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame. Every news agency is bound to have some variation on this, as the article was specifically about this year's nominees. You might as well find one and read it as soon as you're done with this. Those perfunctory press release regurgitations aren't so much journalism as they are Asian animals who look up suddenly and then bolt and run inland, alerting the humans of the nearby fishing village that they have moments to do the same if they wish to avoid the tsunami already on its way. You, of course, are the villagers and the tsunami is the body of complaints to inevitably follow of deserving (and more than deserving) candidates left out yet again.

.....This year's nominees are at least defensible choices. Still, after decades of rolling my eyes at the nearly Grammy-grade silliness annually emitted from the Hall Of Fame it managed to jar me a bit to see that Eric B and Rakim (a guilty pleasure of mine) and the Beastie Boys (who, except for PAUL'S BOUTIQUE, are just... well, guilty) might be inducted the same year as Small Faces and Donovan, each of whom have been eligible for over twenty years, nearly since the Hall's inception. Surprisingly , War and The Spinners (both eligible since the 1990's) are also just showing up now as well. More and more, the lists of the last few years seem to be juggling an impulse to pander to a younger audience that doesn't know who Chuck Berry is with an impulse to apologize for their presumably California-addled priority gaffes of the past. Therefore, Public Enemy will sail through next year when they become eligible alongside, hopefully, any six of the fine folks below.

.....There are fifteen nominees but the actual number of inductees could be anywhere from five to a dozen. There's been no obvious pattern over the last decade. Increasingly, R&B acts who likely would never consider themselves rock acts are finding themselves nominated. Cynical wags might assume that the nominating committee doesn't want to face unearned accusations of racism, since rock acts from 1961 to the current cut-off date of 1986 were overwhelmingly white. The reason for that may have been blatant racism, since the Klan-affiliated purge of rock generally from the airwaves beginning in the late 1950's perhaps didn't last very long (or even work pervasively) but it derailed the careers of numerous black artists from the 1950's (who've already been inducted). None of which was the fault of the nominating committee decades later. However, to watch Donna Summer strut by Arthur Lee and Love or the Bad Brains or Arthur Alexander or Larry Williams or The Contours or... well, you get the idea. There's no real need for Hank Williams to be in there, either, but there you go. If the committee wants people to know that they're not racists and that the reason so many of the eligible candidates for a rock award are white is because of other people's racist practices in the past, I'm perfectly willing to believe them. Really. But if they're nominating black disco divas for a rock award while black rock artists are still waiting to hear their names, then the committee should worry a lot more about people assuming that they're brain damaged.

.....In the mid 1990's I tried to take inventory of my CD collection. Obviously, that list is hopelessly outdated. But just flipping through it now I've got to say that the number of acts I found at random, with no effort whatsoever, who not only qualify for induction but in many cases are overdue, could fill their own separate museum. And because this list is limited not only to my (admittedly scattershot) tastes, but to what I was able to afford on CD fifteen years ago, there must be another list out there nearly as long. Feel free to print this out or book mark it so that the next time you read some snarky music critic adding to the tsunami of complaints of musicians overlooked by the Hall Of Fame, you can compare their picks to The Checklist Of Shame:

1. ARGENT- Formed from the ashes of the Zombies, who are also MIA
2. AVENGERS- Opening act for the last original Sex Pistols concert in 1978 and, at that time, more exhilarating than the headliners. One real album, split, then reconvened years later.
3. BADFINGER- The only real fruit of the Beatles' Apple label, which was intended to give promising musicians public exposure. Unless you want to count James Taylor, who jumped ship for Warner Brothers immediately, or Billy Preston, who technically had a career before that.
4. BAUHAUS- Jesus Chryslerdrivesadodge, what the hell is WRONG with you people? How could you talk about bands who have "influenced" (your word, not mine) younger bands and the wider culture at large without inducting Bauhaus? They've been eligible for seven years. Granted, that's not as colossal an oversight as the Small Faces, but it has to be embarrassing for you. Are you really the only people working in the music industry who don't know that this band is the reason your grandchildren are wearing black make-up right now? There's actually a publicity shot of the New Kids On The Block taken shortly after the Hall was created. In it, one of the members is wearing a Bauhaus T-shirt. I don't know why, I don't even know if he knows who they are. Tell me, tell me, tell me you're not going to nominate the New Kids before you've nominated Bauhaus.
5. SYD BARRETT- I might give you a pass on Syd, but many of the people you've already inducted might not.
6. B-52's- Induct them. If for no other reason than to liven up the end-of-ceremony concert.
7. BIG STAR- And Alex Chilton while you're at it.
8. BLACK FLAG- Are you afraid they'll bring the ruler? They launched an entire label and you still haven't inducted them?
9. BLIND FAITH- Okay, we all know you'll never nominate Family because you're just that lame, but why should Rick Grech be the only one with nothing to talk about at cookouts? Even Ginger Baker got in with Cream and Steve and Eric both have multiple opportunities. Wasn't it the first platinum album ever? Doesn't that count for something?
10. BOOMTOWN RATS- Knighthood, sainthood, but still not good enough for Ohio?
11. BILLY BRAGG- Surprisingly well marketed for a Socialist, Bragg could bring you a whole new audience who previously wouldn't have taken you seriously. Not so much street credit as factory credit.
12. KATE BUSH- If you could get her out of the house for the ceremony, that alone would be a coup for you. Don't hold your breath.
13. BUZZCOCKS- They had the first self-released punk record ("Spiral Scratch") and were picked up by United Artists. They're especially noteworthy as an original British punk band that never truly went away.

.....Add your A or B recommendations to the comments. Remember, they must have released a recording by 1986. Continues tomorrow with 'C'.